Episode 44: Who Am I Without the Job Title?
When Your Identity Is Two Letters — HR
Identity is a funny thing. We spend our whole lives building it, polishing it, protecting it, performing it. For years, mine was summed up neatly in two letters: HR.
Whenever I introduced myself—“Hi, I’m Trina, I work in HR”—I’d get one of two reactions: a nervous laugh and a “Oh God, don’t fire me,” or a polite but slightly terrified smile.
But lately, I’ve been wondering:
Who are we really when the job title fades?
What does it mean to be an HR professional today, when our work is both deeply human and maddeningly bureaucratic? When somewhere between the policies and the people, we lose ourselves?
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When Hard Work Becomes Your Identity
Let’s start with a story—my story.
I was a hardworking HR professional, climbing the ladder, chasing the next promotion, and living by the sacred creed of “busy equals important.”
I believed success meant working harder than everyone else.
If you weren’t exhausted, you weren’t trying hard enough.
And for a long time, that belief “worked.”
Until it didn’t.
My self-worth was tied completely to how hard I worked.
If something felt easy, I’d get suspicious.
“Trina… you can’t possibly be doing this right. It’s not painful enough.”
Then came the approach to burnout, the disillusionment, the realisation that maybe—just maybe—the identity I built around HR wasn’t feeding my soul anymore.
So I did something radical.
I moved to Cambodia.
Lowest pay I’d ever earned.
Highest joy I’d ever felt.
I saw people living full, connected lives with a fraction of what we chase in corporate Australia. Joy not tethered to KPIs. Community that didn’t need structured offsites.
It was liberating and confronting.
Because I realised I had been confusing hard work with meaningful work.
One drains you.
The other fills you.
Rewriting Identity and Authenticity
When I started Reimagine HR, I had to unlearn the belief that worth = work ethic.
In corporate HR, I was often told I cared “too much” or was “too straight-talking.”
Translation:
“You’re too human. Please be less of that.”
Now, those exact qualities—heart, humour, candour—are what set my business apart.
We in HR are notorious for identity crises.
We talk all day about purpose, culture, and belonging.
But ask an HR professional what their purpose is… and you often get a deer-in-headlights look.
Are we the fun police?
The fixers?
The feelers?
The people everyone comes to only when there’s a problem?
We’ve built our profession around caring for others—often at the expense of ourselves.
And if your identity is wrapped up in being needed…
what happens when you’re not?
When Job Title and Identity Collapse
This hit me hard during a recent recruitment process.
A senior HR leader—let’s call him David—had applied for 70+ roles.
Rarely reached interview.
When he finally did, he opened with:
“I know my age is against me.”
His whole identity had been built around his job title.
And suddenly, that title had no power.
It wasn’t just a recruitment issue.
It was an identity issue.
We talk so much about culture fit, purpose, and transformation…
but we rarely help people reimagine who they are when the world shifts beneath them.
The Four Bonds That Shape Identity
Employee identity isn’t philosophical—it’s deeply practical.
Researchers say it’s shaped by four bonds:
1. Emotional bonds
How valued and connected you feel.
2. Cognitive bonds
How you make sense of your role and purpose.
3. Social bonds
Belonging, relationships, connection.
4. Digital identity
How you show up in systems and online spaces.
When these bonds are strong, people thrive.
When they’re weak, we see disengagement, burnout, and that quiet question:
“Why am I even here?”
And timing matters.
Most professional identity forms in the first 90 days.
Onboarding isn’t just system access—
it’s belonging.
Harvard and Gallup research shows:
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Teams with high psychological safety perform better
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Strong belonging = 72% higher engagement
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Only 39% of employees feel cared for
Belonging isn’t soft.
It’s strategic.
Identity Through Transition
Identity becomes even clearer during major transitions—job loss, role changes, retirement.
My husband, a former professional footballer, struggled enormously when he retired.
His identity vanished overnight.
But what I’ve loved watching is how he rebuilt it—not around winning games, but shaping young players with confidence, resilience, and joy.
Parents say:
“He changed how my kid sees themselves.”
That’s identity, rewired.
In HR, we have the same role.
Not to make people work harder…
but to help people see themselves differently at work.
Authenticity Isn’t “Be Unfiltered”
We romanticise authenticity—
“Bring your whole self to work.”
But let’s be honest:
We actually don’t want everyone’s full authenticity.
If someone’s “authentic self” is toxic or disrespectful… no thanks.
Authenticity means alignment.
Alignment between values, behaviour, and respect for others.
That’s the sweet spot where belonging and accountability meet.
Gen Z Is Changing the Rules of Identity
Gen Z expects:
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transparency (81% say it’s non-negotiable)
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connection and community
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alignment across work, home, and purpose
They’re not chasing hierarchy.
Only 6% want executive roles.
They want integration, not balance.
Maybe they’re onto something.
When Identity and Workplace Misalign
We all know the feeling:
Walking into work like wearing someone else’s clothes—too tight, too itchy.
That’s identity misalignment.
And the data backs it:
The solution?
Connect what people care about with why the organisation exists.
That’s when people see themselves in the story again.
Who Are You Without the Job Title?
So let me leave you with this:
Who are you without the job title?
When the inbox goes quiet, when the org chart disappears, when no one calls you the go-to HR guru…
who’s left?
If that question feels uncomfortable—good.
Identity isn’t fixed.
It evolves.
And the more we allow ourselves to evolve, the more powerful we become.
Maybe the real work of HR isn’t helping people do better…
but helping them be better.
More human.
More whole.
More aligned.
Thanks for tuning in.
Reach out via our website with your HR stories or topics you’d like us to explore.
It’s all about people, purpose, and impact—and we’re here for it.
